His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
