Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I want to fling myself into the sun
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
