I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
