No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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