Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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