she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have aggressive nipples.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
