girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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