I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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