After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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