But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
