The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
