I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
