But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
