I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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