you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
