I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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