Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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