My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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