Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
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Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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