I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
