Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
