he thought i was a dude.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
