the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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