He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
