Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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