im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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