So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
