i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
