words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize