your thong is hanging out like whoa
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
