HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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