dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
