if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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