Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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