i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
