sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
