So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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