found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
