what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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