I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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