Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
