I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
there is puke in my bra ... again
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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