i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
