I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
