We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize