I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
