So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
