Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I deserve this hangover.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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