Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
