Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
