I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
