He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
