okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
