I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
