I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
