Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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