Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
