There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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