I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
literally had 100 drinks last night.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
