After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
