So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize